Oy Ve Como Va!

Read my Hebrew Mamita interview here!

The Nice Jewish Bad Boys

Last week, I wrote about Kosha Dillz's new album for The Forward. Then, on Sunday, Kosha came to DC for a show and my roommate and I had coffee with him. I asked him if I could write some rap lyrics for his next album and when he told me I most definitely could not, I fired back with what should become the hot new highschool comeback of 2009: "Go back to jail!" Sadly, the line only works when said to friends, like Kosha, who have actually been to jail.

Goose-Steppin': Hot or Not?

Yesterday, I wrote about dating the descendant of a nazi officer for Jewcy. But not to worry, mom, I have returned to dating only Jews and blacks...

How to Not be a Serious Journalist

During one of the interviews for this piece, I reminded one of the very sober-minded kvutzot that if they ever hoped to be MTV Real World material, they were going to have to add a quirky virgin and telegenic gay to the mix.

Yes, Sarah Palin Does Keep Concealed Weapons Inside Her Fancy Updo

My former coworker Nonna Gorilovskaya made the critical point on her blog that the media has been zooming in on the female candidate’s appearance, turning political commentary into the more bitchy scenes from “What Not to Wear.” I agree with her. All this political fashion talk is weird and it is without a doubt bigotry but in the media’s defense, women simply have more visible data than men to digest and make comments on. There’s the long hair swinging n’ swaying with the wind, the topographical map of body, the complicated outfits. And yes, militant feminists, I hear you hissing under your breaths, the way you do when anyone points out any measurable differences between the two genders. (Yes, Rachel Maddow does not have hair that swings and sways in the wind! I understand.) But isn't it worth pointing out a rationale that still holds true for everyone except the exceptions?

With that being said, its only natural to look at the above photo and comment that Sara Palin got her hair styled in 1983 and kept it that way. And if McCain had gotten the same haircut, I really would make fun of him as well!

I Care! For A Limited Time Only!

As a girl who once cried thick gooey monsoon tears for three hours straight because she felt the right side of her jaw bone tip downwards at a slightly more linear slope than her left side, I love Salon editor Sarah Hepola because she cries a lot too. She wrote a column for Nerve, called “Crying in Resturants” which I was almost jealous of because even I haven’t cried enough times in restaurants to have a column. Such an ice-mannequin I am sometimes!

But then Sarah wrote this week about crying over loftier issues like election fears and I thought, god, for one of the first time in my life I could cry about politics too. I could cry about something important and selfless! A few weeks ago, I was at my childhood friend Jamie’s house and she told me she wasn’t voting. My heart immediately shoved into my ribcage and then my ribs snapped off from their cage. I'm being serious.

“Jamie, you’re a murderer!” I yelled, “You might be a murderer by three or four degrees, I’m not sure, but still, a murderer.”

Jamie laughed squeakily.

“Its not cute, Jamie! People are dying, Jamie. And you don’t care. You don’t care that I don’t have health insurance because I’m a freelance writer (or unemployed depending on which way you look at the glass). You don’t care!”

But then Jamie sent me an instant message this morning to tell me she decided to vote. And for Barack!

If this election has done anything, it’s had the ability to shove political interest down the esophaguses of the apolitical/apathetic. Obviously, when people are desperate and the world is teetering back and forth on a tiny piece of floss, people begin caring. God, I really wish there was more preventive caring, though; I wish that even in the 90's when America was all Clintonian rainbows and bunnies, we would still care just because we wanted to keep it that way. But, really, there's only so much we can do about our own brain chemistry. And sometimes I get scared that if I wasn’t paying a fierce $300 a month out of my own pocket for health insurance than I wouldn't genuinely care about this election either.

Stevie

Another reason why MTV should stop chopping up their videos into three-second flashes of stretch Lexuses and three-second flashes of double E cleavage and three-second flashes of ice around the neck and just film the artists raw.